Secrets and Lies


Rhiannon is at that magical age where truth becomes fiction and fiction, truth. Anything is possible to a five-year-old girl; anything can happen. And when it doesn't, by golly, she'll make something up.

What she doesn't realize is that from the perspective of a 36yo man who was once a five-year-old boy and told plenty of "stories" of his own, and then watched his little brother do the same thing and occasionally get away with it, is that I can tell truth from fiction. Well, with kids anyway. I'm still trying to figure out the government.

On Saturday night, we drove Rhiannon and her best friend Kwynn (from Toy Town) to downtown Tempe to watch fireworks and see the Christmas parade. On the way over, I hear whispers in the back seat of the Mazda. Now, the Mazda is a smallish car, and Rhiannon's voice carries, so pretty well anything she says in a hushed voice she might as well have screamed aloud. Here is the secret told by Rhiannon to Kwynn (and don't you dare tell her I told you):

"Kwynn! I need to tell you a secret."

Kwynn waits, expectantly.

"Emma said that Joe Jonas was over at her house and he asked her to marry him."

Okay. Back up. Joe Jonas is (I think) the middle Jonas Brother (pictured above). He must be, oh, fifteen or sixteen by now. Emma is five. I continue to listen....

"And then Joe Jonas came over to my house when my parents were asleep and he asked ME to marry him."

Wha???

"And then he said he wanted to marry YOU, too."

WHA??? Joe Jonas, I had no idea. Kwynn says nothing, but is giggling, kind of like a laughing tea kettle set to boil. I shake my head. At least we'll get a dowry.

Today, the stories continued as I drove Rhiannon to Little Gym.

"Dad!"

"Yes, Rhiannon?"

"I had fun a school today."

"Why?"

"We had an assembly and Sharpay was there!" (Sharpay is the obnoxious blond girl from High School Musical).

"Oh! So if I asked your teacher how they were able to have Sharpay come, would she tell me?"

"No, dad. It's a secret. Besides, Miss Mark wouldn't know the answer anyway."

And so it goes. Apparently she and Miss Mark went to Chili's for lunch a couple of weeks ago. And had volcano cake.

It could happen....

Rhiannon. Honestly cute.

Andrew (Papa)