Medieval Time Out


On Saturday night, Jayni, Rhiannon, and I visited the Scottsdale residence of esteemed Arizona State University Professor of English, Dr. Bob Bjork, invitees to a party to welcome Medieval Studies faculty and graduate students. Originally Jayni was supposed to go to represent the History department and I would come along as moral support and to ingest as much free salmon, chicken wings, stuffed mushrooms, and Stella Artois as possible within a three-hour period. But I get ahead of myself.

Our babysitter bailed at the eleventh hour, so Jayni called the hostess, who teaches Shakespeare (classes, not the dead guy) at ASU, if Rhiannon could come. The answer was an enthusiastic yes as the Bjork family has a four-year-old daughter named Francesca. Thank heaven for little girls.

We arrived, and Rhiannon when straight for the nametags, wrote her name correctly in red marker, affixed it to her dress, and promtly went searching for Francesca. This is after perusing the 30-volume set of August Strindberg in the foyer, dipping into the fiesta-colored tortilla chips, and introducing herself to everyone, leaving Jayni and I a bit out of place as our social daughter made the rounds. I should make her business cards.

It turns out that Francesca was asleep, so Rhiannon made her self at home and ultimately ended up playing outside in a tiny playhouse that apparently almost cost the Bjorks their marriage. I suggested that perhaps they should have gotten their graduate students to do it as some sort of architectural history project. Alas, I was too late.

Rhiannon also brought along a stuffed kitty so she could have something to show Francesca. A note about said kitty. It looks alive. It is permanently curled in a too-cute position of sleeping, and has an internal bladder powered by batteries that make its chest rise and fall in imitation of sleep. Occasionally the thing purrs. Imagine everyone's shock when Rhiannon dropped it on the tile. So of course we said it was our dear cat Tuffy, dead these past ten years, that Rhiannon still sleeps with at night to keep him close.

We are sick people. And of course this made us all celebrities.

Francesca finally awoke and came down to meet Rhiannon. Unlike the other Bjork, she was not dressed in a swan outfit, but instead in a rough-and-ready party dress. Rhiannon was wearing a homemade dress (courtesy of a friend) with Cinderellas on it, so of course they hit it off, two too-cute girls up to no good.

While the grown-ups chattered away, Rhiannon played, and would come downstairs to inform us all of what she had found, not the least of which was a pink unicorn. "I'll drink what she's drinking," I said.

"Dad!" said Rhiannon. "It's REAL!"

And she was correct. The animal was rather small, but no one would confuse it for a stuffed cat, real or not. But it was pink. And had a horn. I found myself wondering, "but is it Medieval?"

Children, especially up to age five, are perfect for large gatherings in small spaces. Rhiannon was the most mobile of any of us as she navigated the legs of tables, chairs, and guests to get to the chips and the strawberries. Between she and Francesca, they must have consumed two bags of torilla chips and a flat of strawberries. Evidence the following morning confirmed this at home.

By the end of the evening, much by the grace of Rhiannon, we secured a play-date with the Bjorks. For the children, this will include dollies. And for the grown-ups, Jayni and one Dr. Bjork will plan a team-taught class on Shakespeare and the Classical tradition, while the other Dr. Bjork and I will explore the wonderful land of Scotch whilst discussing Medieval Latin. I will start studying now.

Rhiannon fell asleep in the car on the way home to the wonderfully husky voice of Cat Power singing the Oasis classic, "Wonderwall". Tucked in to bed later, she said that she had a wonderful time at the party and cannot wait to go back. May all her parties involve play, chips, strawberries, and pink unicorns, as she is surrounded by academics in love with old things. Although the party had a Medieval theme, her smile was a Renaissance one, as if she was one of Raphael's putti.

Rhiannon. Beatifically cute.

Andrew (Papa)